Dr. Van Keudejap is working on the cure


  troglodyte mignon illustration - nancy carreiro
Above: Dr. Van Keudejap working round the clock on his much-copied perpetual motion uber machine. Even though modern-day human history commentators will disingenuously point to his nearly prodigious porto wine ingestion during his intensive search for the solution to the free energy problem, it definitely turned out to be the catalyst that did, at last, bring upon survival for our then-condemned wretched race on the face of this lonely planet.


10 Responses to Dr. Van Keudejap is working on the cure

  1. Teargas says:

    add then dumb: In late June, Keudejap expiremented with a new type of stelupolyhethericaphonym that brought about encouraging progress. He let the cat out, and made himself a turkey sandwich. Music filled the room, and he smiled to the béat.

  2. constance says:

    Dr. Van Keudejap? He’s a fictatious character or is he real? Anyway, I love this piece! The lightings, the messy stuff all around…everything. You’re really great with watercolours!

  3. Teargas says:

    He’s very real. Upon his death april 29th 1978 (at the ripe old age of 99) there were three thousand people marching at his funeral. He was reincarnated as a hawk, then a bear. He is currently spending most of his bear-time hunting and sleeping, but his human inventions make sure the Earth doesn’t fall out of its orbit every day of our lives.

  4. He’s real according to legend.

  5. Dion says:

    I love the madness/passion in his eye(s)…

  6. beautiful watercolor!!! what kind of paintbrush do you use?

  7. billy coutu says:

    …a paintbrush made out of butt hair.

  8. mmrtnt says:

    I’m really starting to like the good doctor.


  9. METOZ will be able to create A NEW KIND OF CLEAN ENERGY.
    My idea is very difficult for understanding. It is not difficult for engineer – mechanic, who knows very good the Pascal’s law and even-arm lever.

    The entire world is looking for a source of clean energy. I have discovered a certain paradox basing on which a machine called METOZ can be built which by harnessing the gravitation of our EARTH can produce clean energy.
    The energy producing process is demonstrated in:
    and can be very easily confirmed by an experiment.
    I am also in possession of a set of calculations which prove that the METOZ machine:
    1/ does not consume water / 39 A5-pictures /;
    2/ does not consume compressed air / 39 A5-pictures /;
    3/ produces energy to the outside = 4 839 kGm during a „swing cycle” /39 A5-pictures /;
    / this is a „weight cycle” = the centre of gravity of the water in the METOZ machine sinks ( downward movement ) /
    4/ energy is produced / released to the outside = 44 600 kGm during the „straightening cycle” / 39 A5-pictures /.
    / this is a “pressure cycle” = the water mass centre of gravity inside the METOZ machine travels upwards (upward movement) /
    Features: 1/; 2/; 3/; 4/, of the machine owing to appropriate dimensions of individual elements of the lever mechanism.
    The METOZ has an even-arm lever of a 1.72 m length. The centre of gravity of the lever lies beneath the lever suspension point. The METOZ is equipped with two cylinders of a 1.6 m diameter each. Piston sidewalls do not contact directly with cylinder walls. The lever swing changes between 0 and 25 dgr
    Figures ( 3 x 13 x 4 = 156 ) present temporary, consecutive action situations at intervals of . The middle figure presents the machine and the side figures the position of the left and right cylinder and the mathematical description of these situations.
    In the past I have made two models, which confirmed the legitimacy of my theoretical assumptions concerning the METOZ machine. I have got photographs.
    I am looking for a person who would be interested in my invention. I can offer ample information. I look forward to hearing from you.


    13 – 03 -2005 Gdynia, Polska Zygmunt Orłowski
    P.S. The term “gravitational paradox” use in this description relates to the mathematical and physical description of the action of the METOZ-machine.


    Orlowski Zygmunt
    Poland 2005
    index html
    “METOZ” is able to realize the cycle “deflection” and the cycle “straighening.” Both cycles are in accordance with current physic’s laws. “METOZ” as machine can not work and hand over the energy because it would be inconsonant to the law of conservation of energy.
    I propose to execute the following intelectual process:
    we have found ourselves in the Europe of XVII century. We know the trigonometry in the scope of being occured for “METOZ.” We know what is the even-arm lever and moment of force too. Just appeears Mr. Baise Pascal / 1623–1662/ and he publishes his hydraulics law with adequated experiment. All thinkers are sure that this law is correct and quite real. This time someone invents machine “METOZ”. Now turn up the following questions:
    1/ why the implementation of the cycle “deflection” is impossible?
    2/ why the implementation of the cycle “straightening” is impossible?Both groups: opponents and followers of bulding “METOZ” live in XVII–th century and they not know that:
    a/ the idea of an “energy” will be introduced into science scarlerly in mid. of XIX century,
    b/ the law of conservation of the energy will be exist scarlerly after 1847 y.
    Please open GOOgle and klick metozor and after : index of metozor At is site that explains technical details in easy to understand language. example : http://www.nets.pl/~metozor/for_greenpeace.html or
    Everyone is able to build just the model of METOZ machine and test it. Please, have a look at http://www.nets.pl/~metozor/supplement.html Perhaps METOZ is some duplicating machine of a clean energy.
    I am inventor and owner of Metoz machine invention. Everyone can take absolutely and legitimate the METOZ invention and build the Metoz machine. I can help only. I can not build METOZ. I am moneyless. Thank you for your time and interest.

  10. Perpetual motion machines* (the latin term perpetuum mobile is not uncommon) are a class of hypothetical machines which would produce useful energy “from nowhere.” The existence of a perpetual motion machine is generally accepted as being impossible according to current known laws of physics. In particular, perpetual motion machines would violate either the first or second laws of thermodynamics. Perpetual motion machines are divided into two
    subcategories, referred to as perpetual motion of the first kind and perpetual motion of the second kind. There is a chance that the accepted laws of physics are wrong, but a lot of evidence is needed to regeneralize these.
    The conception of an energy is discreate one to the same as a imbecility. No one has seen the energy and no one has seen the imbecility. We are able to observe results of the energy and imbecility. At present we have got to few energy because we have got to much imbecility.

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